Asking the Right Questions!?

Molecular ThoughtsHave you ever taken public transport and looked around. I was on the tube today and I looked up, paying attention to what was around me. What I saw was many individuals looking as if they were run down (one lady was actually asleep) and looking like lost souls. Now, this may not be what they were feeling but there was definitely a distinctive look and feel to everyone on the tube. I couldn’t help but wonder… what are we doing to ourselves? This was during the time that most people were making their way back home and I couldn’t help contemplate… what lives are we living and what jobs are we doing that create this feeling in us!?

The other realisation was that we seem to be needing connections with other living souls yet we look down at our newspapers, books and phones while listening to music, completely cut off, by choice, to what surrounds us. Why do we do this?

Then there were those who were clearly trying to get the attention of others either by acting out, being loud reacting with large expressions and the general ‘i’m beautiful/handsome” behaviours but, if anyone dared to look at them they pretend that they don’t want the attention. Again, very perplexing!!!

Somewhere along the way we have confused our minds and making some strange choices that does not feed our souls… I am part of this problem!

Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and other social networking feeds into this problem! We seem to only want to be seen when we choose to be seen, in the image we want to portray and they be gratified for it when we do! Never really wanting to be seen in our full ‘glory;’ the good and bad! The simple community interaction has become obsolete, if anything we look at people who try to interact and have a conversation in public environments with disdain (why are you interacting with me, disturbing me from my own controlled environment where I’m pretending no one exists around me) or with apprehension that they may be ‘strange.’

As a society and as individuals what have we become? This does not feel as if it’s the right route to fulfilment! It has also not gone unnoticed by me that we are in a society with the highest rate of depression, anxiety and suicide. British people are ranked around the most depressed people in the western world. Are these factors to these illnesses! Then we have to take prescription drugs, or even self medicate through ‘street drugs’ to deal with it and come out the other side with some resemblance of normality or happiness.

I know many of us believed that if we had more money we would be happy and those who are rich are automatically happy for what do they worry about. But then, I wonder if we ask people around the world who are dealing with starvation, war, natural disasters and oppression what they thought about the British, they would probably have the same response. What do we have to worry about… free education, healthcare and government services to help those who are struggling, such as council houses, benefits, social services etc! Yet, here we stand with a statistic that approximately 1 in 4 people in the UK will experience a mental health problem each year. In actual figures that is quarter of 66.57 million which is about 16.64 million people!!!

Anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the U.S., affecting 40 million adults in the United States age 18 and older, or 18.1% of the population every year. That is more than the populations of New York and Florida combined.

These are some scary and telling statistics which clearly indicates to me that we need to change things as they are broken!!!

There has been reports and clinical research stating that the more time young adults spend using popular social media, the greater the link to depression. But, what about us, the fully grown adults, what’s the reasoning behind our ratio?

When doing research I found that many researchers state that depression can be caused by:-

  • Abuse. Past physical, sexual, or emotional abuse can cause depression later in life.
  • Certain medications. For example, some drugs used to treat high blood pressure, such as beta-blockers or reserpine, can increase your risk of depression.
  • Conflict. Depression may result from personal conflicts or disputes with family members or friends.
  • Death or a loss. Sadness or grief from the death or loss of a loved one, though natural, can also increase the risk of depression.
  • Genetics. A family history of depression may increase the risk. It’s thought that depression is passed genetically from one generation to the next. The exact way this happens, though, is not known.
  • Major events. Even good events such as starting a new job, graduating, or getting married can lead to depression. So can moving, losing a job or income, getting divorced, or retiring.
  • Other personal problems. Problems such as social isolation due to other mental illnesses or being cast out of a family or social group can lead to depression.
  • Serious illnesses. Sometimes depression co-exists with a major illness or is a reaction to the illness.
  • Substance abuse. Nearly 30% of people with substance abuse problems also have major or clinical depression.

“Depression is an extremely complex disease. It occurs for a variety of reasons. Some people experience depression during a serious medical illness. Others may have depression with life changes such as a move or the death of a loved one. Still others have a family history of depression. Those who do may experience depression and feel overwhelmed with sadness and loneliness for no known reason.”

Is it really “for no reason” or are we not asking the right questions. Such as:-

  • Fulfilment in job… are we choosing careers that we enjoy and are genuinely interested in or do we often ‘fall into them in our younger ages” and then continue to do them without questions. Or choose careers that pay well and have high social standings. How often are we choosing university courses based on what we’re goof at or what would make us a lot of money instead of what we’re interested in! Anything can be a career yet we choose to ignore that fact! The problem begins at a young age!
  • True connections in the relationships we foster. Are we with the people who bring out the best in us, who we can share things with, treat us with respect, empathy and love or do we compromise so we are not alone, so we can have the image of childhood; partner, marriage, house, children, grandchildren?
  • Our social acceptance of the high consumption of alcohol! We drink to celebrate, when we’re sad, as a reward, to drown our sorrows, when we socialise, when we’re alone, when we are stressed and when we are happy!… Why do we do this? Social norms or are we overwhelmed by our emotions during these situations and try to numb or control them or, simply to have an outlet for them??
  • Are we making decisions through expectations, social norms or fear instead of choice? Would the world really fall apart if we all did the things we want (just as long as we are no hitting ourselves or others.) Or would it just be that it would change drastically! No longer fulfilling the commercialised world with profit based industrialised companies such as banks etc that was created before us! It might not be recognisable to the world that we lived in and maybe that would be a good thing because how good is this world really, to justify the fighting, pain and hurt that we are doing and in, to keep it this way?
  • Do we want to be seen and heard for who we truly and yet project a false self to the world and the break comes from when that becomes to exhausting, especially when life throws us challenges and changes?
  • Do we want to feel like we belong but, spend so much energy being accepted and often have to shut down parts of ourselves!
  • What happens when we have been taught to question our instincts and that ‘logic’ should override it?! Are we now using our brain to tell our heart what we want instead of our heart guiding our minds into helping us achieve the things we want!… We shouldn’t or can’t go after and have what we want because …(full in the blanks.)
  • That we have become so busy that we no longer allow or choose to self-reflect. How well do we really know ourselves. What motivates us, how are we feeling, what do we really think about any given subject, not regurgitating someone else’s idea’s and words but, actually come to some form of conclusion ourselves which may often fall somewhere in the grey area instead of black or white!
  • Are we too busy planning and working towards our future that we are no-longer taking time to experience and explore the present?! When was the last time you appreciated the natural beauty that is a sunset? When we do eventually do it, we always stop in awe at the beauty, yet we do not take the time to do it and it’s free and occurs every day!

To me, these are some valid questions and reasons why I think we and myself often fall into darkness! Am I asking myself the right questions, this was not taught to me instead it is something I have had to figure out on my own through my own experiences.

So how do we, who are aware of this, ask ourselves these questions and try to make conscious decisions navigate within this world. Could doing this be another cause or reason for anxiety and depression… quite likely, yes?!

My journey and point of this post it to try and figure out how ‘we stand in the light’. What helps us create happiness within our lives because the stories we were told as children; have a good job, have a partner who has a good job, get a house, be married and have children does not seem to be the full answer. There definitely is some truth in it but, I guess in all things, it depends on the translation of it and what each point really means, which is where the answer probably lies.

I’ll keep investigating, keep asking and definitely keep being interested… if you have any thoughts or comments, please let me know.

Sincerely,

MsIHaveAVoice

For help regarding depression, anxiety or similar conditions please check out the following links :-
United Kingdom
United States of America https://adaa.org/finding-help

 

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Standing in the light! ~ Gratitude

standinlight

Practice makes perfect… or at least happiness!

I wanted to write a follow-up to my ‘Grounded in Success’ blog as I put into practice today everything I wrote about, there were five things that I had put on my ‘Must Do’ List:-

  1. A good night’s rest and a good breakfast.
  2. Meditation
  3. Prayer
  4. Sitting In the emotion
  5. Gratitude

I have completed the first four things on the list and it is fascinating how, by doing those four simple steps, it has hugely benefited me today. I am feeling lighter and more energised! I am still tired, as I think we all are as functioning adults, I’m not sure my life will ever be as smooth running as it once was as a child but, the brain feels as if it is functioning at a reasonable level, I feel inspired and just overall happier today.

Which comes to my final point on my list… gratitude and this is something I wanted to share! They may not be big or exciting but I am grateful for them.

Firstly, my wonderful bed! I am so grateful about how comfortable, safe and snugly you are partnered with my cosy pillows! I had a great night sleep on you and when I am not sleeping on you, I miss you and I appreciate you!

Secondly, the very tasty bacon sandwich I had this morning! I recognise how lucky I am that I am able to go into my fridge, get you and put you on my cooker! Such a simple act is sadly a luxury that not all humans on this planet have and I am grateful that I have the ability to do so… and  oh my, you were so very yummy and warmed what the cold weather chilled inside me! A perfect start to my morning!

Thirdly, It may be cold at the moment but the sun is out today. On a late September day, that is rare and I’m glad to see you! I enjoyed my morning coffee in your light, you shone your beauty on my surroundings. I appreciate the natural beauty that is around me and for that I am truly grateful as you are helping to prolong the dark days that will eventually come… As is nature and the cycle of the seasons!

Fourthly, now this is probably not the correct way of doing this…. My family! You drive me crazy, yes you do! But, I am still very grateful to have you in my life! You/I will not be here forever so I take this moment and appreciate the fact that I have you to drive me crazy, to bring joy, to challenge me and to support me (in your own unique individual ways.) You may not always support me in the way I require it but, underneath it all, I know that you believe that you are trying in your own way.

Fifthly, this blog! Now it is something I have done and paid for by myself, no-one gave me this, I went after it and created it through my own wants but, that does not diminish how grateful I am for having it. Whatever inspired me to make the move to start actually doing it, I am so grateful and appreciative! This is something creative I do just because I enjoy it and it is so refreshing that all that it requires is that I am myself, I write what I want and how I want to! It is not linked to any form of professional or financial gain.

I made the steps a couple of years ago to convert the thing I love into my career. It was my best decision as I am now doing something I am passionate about as my career but, it did change things. Having my income be linked to it somehow changed it so having this blog be what it is, is liberating, freeing, creative, enjoyable and most importantly fun and not riddled with anxiousness! For that I am so very truly grateful to have you in my life!

It is easier to see the positives in one’s life after completing this list and when it is a daily habit, which is once was, my life is better for it, internally and externally!

My hope for this blog is that, if you are someone who is struggling, these are five easy steps to help you gain momentum to a better day, then a better week, month, year and life. We add things as we feel better about life and ourselves such as exercise, healthy eating etc but, for now, this should hopefully help you stand in the light!

“Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance.” ~ Meistar Eckhart Tolle

Sincerely always,

MsIHaveAVoice

Grounded in Success

planet__new_wallpaper__by_hardii-d69ed7e

Light vs dark!

A strange understanding came to me recently, I realised that somewhere along the way, between teenage and adulthood, my thoughts or maybe it’s more accurate to say that, my feelings are not as bright and shiny as I believed it to be.

This realisation came to me when I recognised that somehow, I had found my way down an avenue of potential career ‘success/growth/fulfilment’ and yet I could not sit still, my thoughts were finding ways to be anxious, nervousness and sadness which led to thoughts of the eventual failure that it was going to happen… hopes crushed!

This had somehow become my default setting! When I caught myself and tried to visualise it working out exactly as I dreamed, to be happy, hopeful and just take in the moment, I have to be honest, I got fidgety! It felt almost uncomfortable…. I have become comfortable in the uncomfortable (sadness, anxiety, failure, defeat.)

Worse still, this has somehow become my norm that I seem to make clearer and sensible decisions in that space! I am more humble, kinder, grounded, and it seems that it is linked somehow to my drive, creativity and my passion to express.

When I am in a healthy situation whereby I have the ability to freely express myself, I seem to struggle to function in that space!

Take away the sadness, the darkness and place me in the pathway of fulfilment and light and my drive becomes paralysed and I find myself reacting with almost an entitled mindset. It is as if the decisions and reactions are being made by a completely different person!

The idea of succeeding almost goes to my head because of my constant belief and wallowing in “failure.”

The decisions being made in this state rarely has a positive outcome, and I realised that I may be self-sabotaging myself so that I eventually get back to manifesting failure in my life which stems from my feelings about myself!… Money is bad and the root of all evil, I am not a good person, I am useless… I am unworthy!

I wasn’t always like this, I remember a time when I expected growth and ‘success’ from my career, from most of my life decisions but, somewhere along the way I got jaded, exhausted and began to have disbelief. What surprised me was that, I believed that for the past ten years I have been working on this; spiritually, artistically, psychologically. To realise that I have been deceiving myself, that I may be saying one thing to myself but, how I actually feel about things are a completely different scenario.

Now I am aware, that I have had a tough couple of month by anyone standards which may the cause of the increased dark and twistyness but it is also something I am glad to be aware of so that I can deal with it!

So the next inevitable question is… “How do we stay grounded and rooted when we are on a path that excites us, to continue the growth and to stay humble and essentially keep acting via your moral beliefs.”

I know Oprah has always suggested a gratitude book whereby every day you write five things we are grateful for! No. 1 Must Do!

When I get exited, I get completely engrossed in a project, focusing hours at a time into the night and the meditation and visualisation that kept me moving forward during the times of struggle seems to go out the window and becomes nonexistent. No. 2 Must Do!

The simple act of eating regularly and having a good couple of hours sleep. No 3 Must Do!

The “acting world” suggests to simply sit in the emotion, do nothing and try and recognise what it might be triggering up… what emotions is it bringing up? Recognising always helps in changing the pattern! Must Do No.4

For me, the simple act of praying and asking for help is my Must Do No 5.

With the constant stimulation of work, people, music and tv (Netflix etc) I sometimes forget that I have to ask myself “how am I actually feeling,” not just ‘what am I thinking’ because, all those stimulation’s essentially overrides the voice in my head… never giving it space to reflect, to feel and to enlighten! And to me, that is the only voice that should I listen to, to guide me. So, it’s about reconnecting with that stillness within me because somehow, through neglect or choice, I have broken the connection!

Always,

MsIHaveAVoice

Inspirational Quotes

Dare2BDifferent

Dare to be yourself!

Sometimes I find that it’s a challenge just to be myself! Everyone seems to have an idea and/or opinion on who I should be and sometimes their voices seem to drown out my own voice in my OWN head… which is slightly distressing as a concept.

So, I created this video which includes some of the best quotes that I have encountered, about embracing who I am as an individual, no matter how strange it may be to others! Just a small reminder when I stray from my path.

I thought it might help others so I have decided to post it on my blog. It is a little personal as the music is something I also created.

I hope it helps!

You are beautiful, I am beautiful, we are beautiful!

Sincerely,

MsIHaveAVoice